So a lot has been going on.

I tried to make a video, but honestly I’m kind of done with videos unless I have something random to say. I would rather just type.

Well, I haven’t told my friends this yet, just those closest to me and I figure it’s time because it’s in the near future. Jay and I will be moving in together in 2 months! It’s almost here and I can’t wait. We have the perfect first place picked out, and I’m so excited to slowly make it a home (hopefully over the course of the next 5 yrs if I go to FSU’s Med School).

Second, school is going great. I feel like I am doing really well in my classes - which is somewhat of a surprise to me because I work about 30 hrs a week. I’m rather impressed with myself :)

Speaking of work, I love it. I love the people I work with, and what I do. If I didn’t want to pay for a house one day and get a luxury car, I think I would just stay at Starbucks :P 

I got to see my mom and dad this weekend, which was SOOO wonderful. I miss my family. Just sitting down and chatting. I know that’s mostly my fault because I often get caught up in life, but I miss just chatting with my sister, watching TV with my mom while she’s actually asleep because she can’t stay away if she sits down :P Watching wheel of fortune and wishing I could be on it during father/daughter week or sibling week. I miss my family a lot.

Last, is church. Wesley has been wonderful. I just applied for leadership about a month ago, and I should be hearing back in about 2 weeks ago. I love Wesley and I want to see it expand and help the community around us and through out the world. I am really excited to maybe help that with leadership :)

Lately I’ve been realizing how blessed I am to have the mind that I do. I’m not saying I’m more intelligent that others. But I have the desire to learn more than a lot of people I see - and I feel blessed by that. Sure others have skills/interests that I don’t but my desire/skill of learning makes me happy. I love to know more about everything.

That is all.

Love.

Hi.

So today was….I don’t know - meh? maybe. On the inside it was just plain crappy, but on the outside I was fine. Not because I forced myself to be, but just because I was.

I worked today, and I was on register. And if you are on the register during morning shift it’s crazy. Not only was it crazy but I managed to drop a plate, that shattered EVERYWHERE leaving apple fritters flying through the air. I also got coffee grounds in the cambro - which means bad coffee - which means dumping out ALL of the coffee which means no coffee in a coffee store for about 6 minutes. I never felt like I had a second to breathe, but for some reason no body got mad at me except myself.

When I was feeling my worst I went to the customer - with a smile as always - and I asked the customer how he was doing. He smiled and said “I am living the dream!” He seemed like nothing to damper his day - it was beautiful. After him this handsome man was in line and with a big white smile on his face he asked me how MY day was going. Of course many people ask me this out of habit when I ask them, but this man seemed like he REALLY wanted to know. I said “I’m doing pretty good” (this is my automatic response, but sometimes I alternate with “Very Good, Thank you.”) He looked at me, and knew I was lying. He told me his drink order and said, “I want you to have a great day!” He had so much sincerity. It was so wonderful. The day didn’t really get better, but I came to a ridiculous realization as I was walking home - kind of cliche, really.

Today I got upset and let my day get dampered by that fact that I wasn’t pleasing myself. I wasn’t happy with myself. I was so upset about my mistakes, that instead of looking at the alternative side, like I was able to survive the day without getting angry with someone, I pleased customers, I met a new person, I chose to get upset. I didn’t even have reason to be upset. I passed a homeless man while I was shoving my face full of pizza, and I was totally convicted. How dare I not embrace the beauty of my existence and every positive or negative (if I choose to classify something as negative) experience. 

So my thoughts:

love your life, be grateful for everything that happens, take in everything around you, smile.

Last night, was an awesome experience.

I really wanted to share, so I shall.

Allison and I got the awesome idea to sleep in the prayer chapel last night. We went in to the sheet fort and plopped onto the couches. I snuggled underneath the blanket that was on my couch, and after a few minutes of reading, I fell into a peaceful sleep :)

I woke up at about 3:30 am and Allison was no longer on the couch next to me. Instead I found a note. Allison, unfortunately, did not have a blanket so she got very cold, and went home. After my vision focused enough to read the words on the page, I turned over to fall back asleep and as my eyes slowly closed it was AMAZING! I heard gentle rainsdrops falling on the roof. How peaceful - to think that the water was nourishing our earth. Comforting and nurturing the plants. I see it almost as a gift. It rained all night so I could wake up -beautifully refreshed - to walk out into this fresh world. If I were a plant in that moment I would feel so happy and full, like a baby that had been cared for by its mother. 

Enjoy your day :)

Just a sidenote:

I’ve been thinking about it a lot…and I really miss my dreads. That’s all

I guess to sum it up. Know you are beautiful. Yes you. If you’re a boy - don’t think I’m not talking to you - I AM!

You’re body is wonderful. Don’t hate it. When you look in the mirror, smile. 

I’m writing this because I want to look back in a month and remember this. To be honest, and I guess confess, this is something I struggle with. I want to look at this in a month and know I can be happy with myself.

Know that you were created to love. And love is not just meant to love others. LOVE YOURSELF.

Alright, so. This semester I am in a class, Religious Ethics, and every week we have to submit a response that is related to our readings. This week we are studying the Christian religion, which is the religion I “practice”, “believe in”, “live”, “follow”, etc. Well I have decided to make a post that is somewhat a rough draft of my response and also a piece of my mind. Please keep in mind, I do not mean to criticize Christians. I realize and I hope you, as a reader, can accept that ALL people, aside from religion, have customs and experiences and ways of thinking that can influence the way they may practice their religion. So, here it goes…

Christians claim loving equally. That’s what being a Christian is all about. We are to love others as Jesus has shown each of us love. Christians are to not judge based on another’s religion, race, or past experiences - we are to just love and accept. However, a Christian is to marry another Christian. It is not seen as “wise” to marry a non-believer because the purpose of marriage in a Christian’s eyes is meant to bring two in unity with God, and OBVIOUSLY a unity can not be made with someone who does not believe in the person you are unifying with. Therefore, unless you marry another Christian, it seems impossible to have your marriage blessed by God.

The sole purpose of a Christian is to strive to walk in the presence of the Lord at all times. You do this by, as I said before, showing God’s love to others like Jesus showed His love to us. I agree with that (obviously), it’s everything I believe.

So what I struggle with seeing is - we are to sacrifice our life to God, and show love to all - except we are not to give that “special” love (marriage) to someone unless they are a believer. Where is the nonjudging love then? Is Christianity as “blind to color” (whether color be race, religion, or maybe GENDER) as it claims to be?

This is something that I struggle with often as I grow in my own personal relationship or look at other friends relationships.

Again, just my mind. There is no answer, just room for thought.

Eleanor Grace, Eley, Elly belly.

A precious jewel that gave me joy, is now gone. I loved her and her silent love. She knew me. I will forever miss her following my finger as it danced around her bowl, or how she would snuggle in her shell. She was a beautiful girl.

Best memories:

Miss Shirley, the maid at my temporary hotel home, had a whole conversation about Eley with me.

Eley and I spent a car ride together as we went home one weekend. She even survived motion sickness :)

When Jay first met Eleanor, she loved him just as much as she loved me.

Before Eley and I went on our road trip, she went to class with me!

Missed by all that knew her :)